A Dream Like Mine

luckyshirt:

God: How are those things coming along?

Foreman: We can’t get the horn to stay on, Sir. These unihorns will vanish before the velocirappers.

God: *SIGH* Ok… FIRST: I was talking about the humans. SECOND: I thought we were clear about the CORN thing instead of HORN… How the under-construction-hell is Luckyshirt supposed to do his unicorndog thing if you start making executive decisions like these behind my omniscient back? THIRD: RapTORS, not rappers. I take the blame for this one. I really should use an actual font instead of Wingdings on the paperwork. My Holybad. Now: how are the humans coming along?

Foreman: Well… we are down to the last two parts.

God: Excellent! The eyes? Did the x-ray vision work?

Foreman: No no no, the brain and heart. You decided the x-ray vision would keep Let’s Make a Deal from happening.

God: OH MY ME, THAT’S RIGHT. HAHAHAHA I ALMOST ZONKED MYSELF!

Foreman: Hahaha… so… the brain and heart… We have tried all kinds of configurations, but the two will NOT get along. Both try to take control of the whole body system. We can’t get them to sync or agree on anything.

God: Hmmm… well, just make the heart the controlling component.

Foreman: We tried that, Sir. The humans chased each other in circles and cried a lot.

God: Well, make it the brain, then.

Foreman: We tried that, too. The humans got better at almost everything, but still chased each other in circles, and cried HARDER because they were able to think about what they were doing, but unable to stop because the hearts were still finding a way to control thm until finally breaking. Then the humans cried even more.

God: What if we gave them something to FIX the broken hearts?

Foreman: Brilliant, Sir. What do you have in mind?

God: I don’t know… SUGAR! Sugar fixes everything!

Foreman: Actually, studies show the empty calories found in sugar lead t—

God: Make it work. Gmail me when it’s done.

Unfortunately, that was the day Gmail went down…..