A Dream Like Mine

You know how sometimes you think you’re doing really okay with something that used to bother you a lot and then you see or hear something that reminds you somehow and and you wonder about the one-in-a-really- big-number chance that it could mean something else but you remember all the other times that you thought something that probably didn’t mean what you wished it did, really didn’t mean what you wished it did, and your instincts are probably right about what it means but you still wish that this would be the one miraculous time that you were wrong but dammit you’re 42 and your instincts about these kinds of things are really pretty well reinforced by the years if experience with life so it hits you hard again, really hard, and while you hurt you are suddenly really glad that you get to see your counselor again in two days.

Yeah, that.