This, because a day or two ago, she dumped something major on me while I was already down. I thought it wasn’t going to bother me so much at the time, but shortly afterwards, the emotional impact hit. I went to the very dark place in my soul where I just give up on life, and stop caring about anything and everything.
So, just now I was pissy toward her in retaliation. And I was self-aware enough to semi-consciously catch myself in the act. I could have stopped myself. I could have just acquiesced to her minor and mostly justified request. But instead I acted out.
As I started writing this, I was ashamed of myself for doing that, but I actually feel kind of proud of myself. I usually swallow my feelings, and suffer depression because of it. She and I still need to have another talk about the major issue (revolving around money, child support and such things. Fun!) But at least, right now, for whatever little slice of time it lasts, I am angry instead of depressed. And that’s a big step up.
