I like my pulmonologist. I don’t like that he’s got one of those overpowering doctor personalities that make him sound like he already knows what’s wrong with you and how to fix it and you just have to do what he says, even though you’ve been doing what doctors have told you to for years and it’s still not working. But I like that after I voiced my initial concern for the second time, he said that if it was still an issue in the future that we were definitely going to revisit it. And that he asked me twice if I had any additional questions.
I’m not good at piping up about these things. But I was today because wheeeee caffeine!
And I’d like to thank every source of medical information on the Internet ever because I did enough research the night before that I was able to ask the right questions using the right medical terms in a way that probably made him take me more seriously. Or, at the very least, got me a direct answer because he knew what I was really asking.
Now I have to quit napping, get on a real sleep schedule, fill out a little chart, and go back in about two weeks.
i was a little teary-eyed on the drive home because dammit, I let my guard down and started hoping a little there that things might actually get better. We’ll see. We’ll see.
I have an appointment with a pulmonologist tomorrow. So, of course, tonight I’m on the Internet, self-diagnosing.
So, “Central Sleep Apnea” is a thing, and it’s a different thing than “Obstructive Sleep Apnea”. And, you can have both at once.
And I think I might.
For the first time in a long time, I feel like I might have an explanation for why I am so damned tired all the time, and why the CPAP doesn’t help.
I’m not getting too hopeful, because every time I’ve gotten hopeful in the past four years or so, my hopes have been dashed upon the metaphorical rocks. But, for the first time in, say, a year or so, I’m *tempted* to be hopeful. That’s something.
Trying to sleep on a schedule like a normal human being.
Which I’ve certainly never been. And I doubt anyone else ever really has, either.
But trying.
THERE ARE CAFFEINATED DRINKS IN THE REFRIGERATOR AND I WANT ONE SOOOOOO BAD.
Instead, I must relax, strap on my CPAP mask and carpal tunnel splints, and try to stop thinking, “He’s more machine than man now….”
Last night was the first night I kept the mask on all night, so of course not one but two smoke detectors decide to start complaining about low batteries a good hour and a half before I had hoped I would be getting up.
Still, if the CPAP was doing any good, I’d have expected to feel better than I did upon waking. Well, keep trying, I guess. I’ll see the doc again soon enough.
They are a thing.
I have a sleep study tonight, so I’m not allowed to have any caffeine for the rest of the day.
NOT. ALLOWED.
They would probably not be pleased about me taking a nap right now, either. But they didn’t say anything about it.
Maybe I’ll just rest my eyes…. *THUD*
My sleep apnea index is 20.3. That means that 20.3 times per hour, my airway collapses enough that my brain has to wake it up and tell my muscles to do something about it.
Which means I have been getting zero REM sleep and zero slow wave sleep for who knows how long. Maybe years.
This would kind of explain why I am so tired. Why it takes a Starbucks Doubleshot, a Coke, 20mg of Adderall and a Vivarin to fully wake me up some days. Why I was exhausted and lethargic even when I was hyperthyroid, and should have been bouncing off the walls with energy.
I brought home a beautiful new CPAP machine today. If I have time before my son gets home, I’ll post a picture. It’s going to need a name, so if you have any good ideas, let me know. :)
I don’t want to get too excited yet, but it’s hard not to. So many times in the past year, I’ve been treated for something, hoping that this is going to be the thing that makes the big difference. So many times, I’ve been elated for a few days, only to resume the same fatigue. The sleep apnea would explain my tiredness. I really hope this gets my life back to some semblance of “normal”. But I’ve just got to wait and see.
